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Notification of policy change [Mar. 13th, 2008|12:25 pm]
crypto
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I'm concerned that I'm not making a sufficient contribution to LJ's financial viability with my Basic account. I'm too cheap to get a paid account -- and my few attempts to make icons have been disastrous, so it's probably better for everyone that I'm limited to only 6. I could "upgrade" to a Plus account, but the ads that I've seen on LJ somehow look uglier than ads on other websites. And I don't have any control over the content of the ads -- what if they're advertising something I don't want to be associated with?

So I've come up with a new strategy to do my part in shoring up LJ's revenue stream. As of March 14th, 2008, anyone who wishes to friend my LJ will be offered two friending options to select from: Plus Friends and Paid Friends. Each friending category will receive custom posts from me on a special filter.

Plus Friends will not see ads on my LJ. However my posts to that filter will now include product placement and corporate sponsorship. I'm currently reaching out to Lauren Conrad, star of MTV's The Hills, for my first partnership, since she seems like the kind of person who'd be into this sort of thing. P.S. Did you know that she has her own clothing line? Her Lala dress would look great on you!

Paid Friends will contribute a reasonably-priced annual fee to be placed on a filter that includes similar posting content without the product endorsements or sponsors. They will also get priority replies to their comments, and special preference when I'm catching up on my friendslist if I've fallen behind and have to skim through the last couple days' worth of posts. I will also offer a deluxe option where I guarantee to leave prompt and effusive feedback on all their fic, vids, and art, and rec their creations once quarterly.

Everyone who has friended me prior to March 14th will receive all of the benefits and headaches and facepalming to which they have become accustomed, with no changes to the level of service or content of the posts that they see. I consider you all Permanent Friends Unless We Grow Apart Or Turn On Each Other.

In the interest of transparency and open communication, I am announcing this new policy prior to implementation, and encourage your comments, feedback, and questions.
linkReply

Comments:
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[User Picture]From: etrangere
2008-03-13 04:52 pm (UTC)
*dies*

Here, have the internets!
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[User Picture]From: cryptoxin
2008-03-13 05:51 pm (UTC)
\o/!
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[User Picture]From: executrix
2008-03-13 04:55 pm (UTC)
If you are ever going to have a political career, you might wish to reconsider the use of Paid Friends.
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[User Picture]From: cryptoxin
2008-03-13 05:57 pm (UTC)
It's bad enough that I have to do a day-trip to Albany next week, I certainly wouldn't want to live there!
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[User Picture]From: veejane
2008-03-13 04:57 pm (UTC)
I thought "paid friend" was a synonym for "therapist" among the cynical.

Also, I think you should be paying me if I friend you. Don't you know how bribery works??
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[User Picture]From: cryptoxin
2008-03-13 06:01 pm (UTC)
I thought "paid friend" was a synonym for "therapist" among the cynical.

Well, I have been watching HBO's In Treatment (no product endorsement implied).

Don't you know how bribery works??

Between you and me, I'm filing a patent for my new business method in the hopes of licensing it to MySpace and Facebook. There's just too much prior art out there to obtain a patent on bribery.
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[User Picture]From: trobadora
2008-03-13 05:02 pm (UTC)
YOU WIN.
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[User Picture]From: cryptoxin
2008-03-13 06:01 pm (UTC)
*victory dance*
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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: cryptoxin
2008-03-13 06:04 pm (UTC)
Dear Brad,

Your participation on my advisory board provides valuable legitimacy for this LJ. But I never said I'd actually listen to a QUITTER.

However I will be happy to discuss these policy changes with danah boyd, preferably over drinks.

Best regards,

Crypto
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[User Picture]From: anatsuno
2008-03-13 05:07 pm (UTC)
<3
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[User Picture]From: cryptoxin
2008-03-13 06:05 pm (UTC)
Right back atcha.
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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: cryptoxin
2008-03-13 06:05 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
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[User Picture]From: cathexys
2008-03-13 05:10 pm (UTC)

.
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[User Picture]From: cryptoxin
2008-03-13 06:06 pm (UTC)

.
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From: rydra_wong
2008-03-13 05:36 pm (UTC)
As of March 14th, 2008, anyone who wishes to friend my LJ will be offered two friending options to select from: Plus Friends and Paid Friends.

No, no. In the interests of transparency and open communication, you should have dated the change from the 12th and posted a notification hidden in a very very small font at the bottom of a separate post hidden at ?skip=200.
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[User Picture]From: cryptoxin
2008-03-13 06:11 pm (UTC)
It is very important to me that current and future members of my friendslist feel that I am responsive to their suggestions. I appreciate your feedback and consider you a valued user of this service. I am confident that this new policy will provide a more satisfying and streamlined user experience.

The operator of this LJ reserves the right to change the terms and conditions of usage at any time without notice.
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[User Picture]From: cofax7
2008-03-13 06:00 pm (UTC)
Indeed, you win the internets.

... also, exactly how MUCH is the deluxe once-a-quarter-reccing option? Just hypothetically, of course...

Edited at 2008-03-13 06:32 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: cryptoxin
2008-03-13 08:24 pm (UTC)
... also, exactly how MUCH is the deluxe once-a-quarter-reccing option? Just hypothetically, of course...

I am pleased to announce several convenient pricing options. Pending the setup of a PayPal account, I am willing to barter for recs:

- I will gladly rec you on Tuesday for a hamburger today.

- Will trade recs for icons, especially the elusive perfect Sarah Connor icon (this is why I never got a tattoo -- everything I see is close but not quite what I want)

- Automatic rec for any story that names its GaryStu protagonist after me ("The name's Cryptoxin. James Cryptoxin.") Free bonus rec for writers using the following prompt: "Aeryn Sun used to think that nothing could come before her and John Crichton. But that was before she met that dangerous, brooding rogue Cryptoxin...."

- Big fat sparkly rec with ice cream on top if you make a return visit to NYC but this time on a weekend when I'm actually in town

Of course, I'd be happy to rec your stories gratis any time, if I didn't suspect that I was the last person to read them & everybody already knew how awesome they were. Which is why I don't usually do fic recs (well, except for fauxrecs) -- to take a current example, at the rate that I'm reading, I calculate that I'll finish rydra_wong's new masterpiece in early May, because I'm the slowest fic reader ever. At least by then, I won't have to worry about spoiling the story by posting with the LOLcat-inspired entry tags that keep running through my head....
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[User Picture]From: musesfool
2008-03-13 06:07 pm (UTC)
Awesome.
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[User Picture]From: cryptoxin
2008-03-13 08:25 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: cryptoxin
2008-03-13 08:26 pm (UTC)
*grins*
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[User Picture]From: thefourthvine
2008-03-13 06:18 pm (UTC)
In the interest of transparency and open communication, I am announcing this new policy prior to implementation, and encourage your comments, feedback, and questions.

And you were doing so well up to this point! I suggest you modify it to read:

"In the interest of transparency and open communication, I am going to inform one random current friend of my policy change and trust that she will get the word out. Feel free to send your comments, feedback, and questions to notactuallyreadingyouremails@gmail.com, where a group of people who have no influence over my choices will be sincerely sorry that you're unhappy."

Without that, I'm sorry to say, you're still doing a better job than LJ.
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[User Picture]From: cryptoxin
2008-03-13 08:31 pm (UTC)
And you were doing so well up to this point! I suggest you modify it to read:

To clarify, while this LJ does encourage comments, feedback, and questions, I do my best to discourage suggestions. However, you are welcome to open a support request, and our volunteers will be standing by to assist you.

Without that, I'm sorry to say, you're still doing a better job than LJ.

We ask for your patience during this transitional time. We are working around the clock to upgrade our obfuscation servers.
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[User Picture]From: spectralbovine
2008-03-13 06:35 pm (UTC)
Heeeeeee.
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[User Picture]From: cryptoxin
2008-03-13 08:32 pm (UTC)
;)
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From: laurashapiro
2008-03-13 06:43 pm (UTC)
Genius.
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[User Picture]From: cryptoxin
2008-03-13 08:32 pm (UTC)
I get the Nine icon -- win!
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